Timeless: Wyatt POV
by MsFall85
Summary: Wyatt POV's for parts of Season 1
1. Chapter 1: Not Again (Episode 10)

Not Again (Episode 10 Wyatt POV)

Wyatt watched as the Mothership swiftly disappeared from him. How had this happened? Why had he not kept a closer eye on where she went? Immediately, Wyatt was jarred from his innermost thoughts by Rufus yelling, "We've got to get back to the Lifeboat! The only way to know where he has taken her is to get back home and track him!" Wyatt turned and nodded in his direction. Then we headed back to the Lifeboat. Once inside, Wyatt turned to buckle Lucy in...her seat was empty. While Rufus started up the Lifeboat, all Wyatt could think about was Lucy and how he had let her down.

When the left boat returned to Mason Industries, the entire facility was in an uproar. Rufus and I explained the basics of what had happened – neither one of us was sure how explain everything without getting in a lot of trouble so we fudged the facts as best we could. After the initial shock of Flynn kidnapping Lucy, the team immediately went to work trying to find her. The warehouse fell silent – a frantic silence took over building. Everyone working to try to figure out how to find Flynn and Lucy. The only problem was we only could trace the Mothership when it traveled back in time – not its current location. Wyatt grew frustrated as he waited. He was a man of action. Why couldn't they just find him? Too many things could go wrong if they had to wait for Flynn to use the Mothership again. And, even if he did, there was no guarantee he would take Lucy to the past with him. They needed to find Flynn in the present – it was the only way to ensure Lucy's safety. For all they knew, Flynn could dump her somewhere in history. The present was their best option but it grew increasingly obvious that it was the most unlikely option as well. Wyatt wasn't a technician or scientist like Rufus and his questions seemed to be only slowing down the "think tank." As much as it killed him to admit he was getting in the way. All he could do was for now was wait until he was needed. Since he for sure wasn't going home and he wanted to get out of the way, Wyatt went to wait and think in one of the back-meeting rooms. He needed some time think and collect himself.

As Wyatt waited for news, he began to remember the last mission and how it had gone so terribly wrong.

It all started when Flynn basically blackmailed them into helping him. What was Flynn thinking threatening to kill George Washington? Could he really be that insane as to threatened the country's entire history, Wyatt thought. But clearly he was – he had told them as much. "I've already shot Lincoln." Wyatt shook his head remembering…it had only gone downhill from there. Then, Flynn did something Wyatt never expected; he asked for their help in finding Benedict Arnold and destroying Rittenhouse. He began to try to convince Lucy that it was okay to change history this one time. Yet, she remained unmoved. Wyatt smirked as he remembered, Lucy was always true to her mission – saving history. But this time, Flynn had come prepared to get around Lucy's resolve and he and Rufus fell right for it. What had he promised them? Turning over the keys to the Mothership? Destroying Rittenhouse so Rufus' family wouldn't be threatened anymore? The name of Jessica's murderer?

Wyatt slammed his hand on the table as he remembered Flynn's promises. He had been the link Flynn needed to wear down Lucy. What had he said, "I figured you would say no so I'm sweetening the pot…the name of your wife's killer." He ran his hand through his hair. How had he fallen for such empty promises? Once Flynn had made his promises he lost all reason. Even Rufus was not initially interested in helping Flynn. What had he said "even if there is a 1% chance of finding Jessica's killer he would help Flynn." So, he began to pressure Lucy into doing something she clearly did not want to do.

Somehow Flynn knew if he could get Wyatt on board then he would be able to convince Lucy to help. Flynn had taken advantage their friendship or of a future relationship he knew about from the journal. Thinking back to the Watergate mission, Flynn knew that reading what Lucy had written about Wyatt would bother him. Wyatt also knew that Flynn had seen everything Lucy had ever written about Wyatt in that journal – what if there was more to their relationship than even they knew and Flynn had used it against him. Shaking his head, Wyatt wasn't even sure where that idea had come from. How long had he harbored this secret hope that Lucy had written more about him in that blasted journal? Wyatt sighed – he didn't even know the answer to his own question. So, he pushed it aside and continue to try to remember the mission.

Once they had gotten to Arnold their deal with Flynn only continued to go south. Arnold could take them to Rittenhouse – one man. Rittenhouse was a man. Flynn immediately wanted to assassinate him. Wyatt thought back on their private conversation in that dining room with disdain now. Lucy had remained silent as he and Rufus calmly discussed killing David Rittenhouse. He had even used getting Amy back as a way to pressure her into agreeing to the plan. What kind of friend was he? Using the hope of regaining her sister to convince her to do something against her conscious? He was no better than Flynn in that moment. He knew it then and he knew in now. Rufus and Wyatt had both pressured her into approving of a killing a man for their own selfish benefits and ultimately Lucy had been the one to pay the price for it.

Wyatt began pacing. He was never one to pace when he was nervous but somehow this entire situation was different. The last time he felt like this was four years ago when Jessica went missing and he knew she was missing because he had left her on the side of the road. Like before, Lucy was missing and it was his fault.

His mind drifted back to when they had finally found David Rittenhouse and his son. The old man was a dirt bag. You could just feel the evil emitting off of him as soon as he entered the room. His eyes immediately went to Lucy and Wyatt got a sick feeling in his stomach. When Rittenhouse called Lucy over to him and began inspecting her like she was a piece of property, Wyatt grew furious. His line of questing indicated he had other plans for Lucy - plans that Wyatt would never allow to happen as long as he lived. Then Rittenhouse had ordered his men to disarm and execute Flynn and Wyatt while he told another to take Lucy to "his bed chamber" and wait for him. Wyatt grew frantic. Lucy calling out to Wyatt only made his fear grow. She was scared and looked to him to protect her. This was his fault. Lucy was about be kidnapped, assaulted, and possibly be stuck in this godforsaken time because he had made a deal with the devil. Rittenhouse's men grabbed Lucy and started dragging her off. She had screamed and pled for Rittenhouse not to do this and he just smirked at her. Then the door closed and Lucy was gone. Luckily enough, Rufus came to their rescue in the nick of time. Flynn and Wyatt were able to take out Rittenhouse and his men. Once, they were free Wyatt immediately ran toward the door to save Lucy. But Lucy always surprised him – as soon as he got to the door she swung it open looking for him. For what seemed like an eternity they both stared into each other's eyes. Each assessing the other's safety. Both supremely relieved the other was unharmed. However, before either could speak the moment was ended abruptly…

Wyatt sat back down at the table. What happened next all seemed to be jumbled in his mind. Flynn calling out for Rittenhouse's son – desperately wanting to assassinate the boy to ensure the end of Rittenhouse. We regrouped and realized Flynn had gone after the boy. We split up. Why had he allowed Lucy to go off alone? It happened all too fast. She ran off before he could send Rufus with her. Once looking for Flynn in the woods, Wyatt grew anxious again. He wasn't sure where Lucy had run off to – how as he to find her? What if something happened and he couldn't get to her in time? Right when he bumped into Rufus his worst fears came true. He heard Lucy screaming out his name. He and Rufus ran toward her voice. Wyatt called out for her trying to use the sound of her voice to find her. He and Rufus ran as fast as they could while she shouted their names. Then he saw it – the Mothership and its door was closing. He called out for her – ran toward the ship but to no avail. The ship was gone. She was gone. He had gotten there too late. Flynn had taken her. He had failed her.

Wyatt had yet to truly confront his growing feelings for Lucy. After returning from Arkansas, he had worked hard to convince himself that the kissed they had shared meant nothing. He had even told her as much but even as the words spilled out of his mouth he knew better. He hadn't felt this way about a woman since Jessica but he shrugged it off. He had convinced himself the feeling would go away – he could only ever love Jessica. But what had Lucy said to him in Arkansas… "you, me, anyone has to be open to possibilities…" Her brown eyes seemed to penetrate his soul as she had said it – almost asking him the unspoken question that existed between them.

Wyatt sat with his head buried in his hands and his eyes closed. He couldn't believe this was happening to him again. The woman he cared about more than anything was missing. And like the last time, Wyatt blamed himself. He had left Jessica on the road. He had pressured Lucy into the entire situation. This could not be happening again.

Immediately, Wyatt opened his eyes and sat up. When had his feelings for Lucy changed so deeply? He was comparing her to Jessica. When had this happened? He wasn't sure. All he knew was that Lucy was the one person in the world that made him feel at peace again. He hadn't felt like that in years. He wouldn't let Flynn take her from him. He wouldn't let Lucy down like he had with Jessica. She depended on him – she told him as much at the Alamo. He would find her. Once he did, he would talk to her about how he felt. He didn't know what or how he would say it but he would find a way. Wyatt had spent years living in the past and he wasn't going to allow himself continue to be trapped by it. Wyatt knew he needed Lucy. Lucy was his future.

With renewed determination, Wyatt walked back downstairs to see if Rufus and the team had made any progress on finding Flynn and the Mothership. He was ready to go save Lucy.


	2. Chapter 2: The Murder Castle

Wyatt POV – Episode 11

Wyatt just sat staring at the empty seat as Rufus navigated the Lifeboat back to present. While the trips back to Mason Industries were always short, this one felt like an eternity. He and Rufus had to figure out a way around the conversation explaining that they had aided Flynn in his quest to destroy Rittenhouse and Wyatt how to explain how he had lost Lucy. Besides killing Flynn, his number one job was to protect the team. Rufus and Lucy. He had failed and Lucy was gone. _Why did I left her run off without me_ Wyatt thought. The Lifeboat landed. 

As the Lifeboat door opened, Wyatt threw himself out of the opening. There was no time to lose, "Where's Flynn!" Wyatt pushed his way through the crowd of techies. He stalked up immediately to where Agent Christopher and Connor Mason were standing. "Where's Flynn?" Nearly shouting this time. Jiya immediately looked down at her computer screen, she said "He has gone back in New York 1780." Wyatt couldn't believe it. They were going to be able to go right back and find her. Rescue her from Flynn. It wouldn't be long before he brought Lucy home. "Great, let's go!" Agent Christopher looked between at Wyatt and Rufus – "Wait! What's going on? Where's Lucy?"

Wyatt sighed to himself. _This is taking too long_. "Flynn took her. He kidnapped her. We have to go get her. Now. What are we doing? Let's go!" When Wyatt turned, and looked at Rufus, he grew even more frustrated. _Why was Rufus not headed back toward the Lifeboat. What was he doing sitting down at the computer?_ Rufus looked at him, "Since Flynn is using the nuclear battery he can travel as frequently as he likes. The Lifeboat we have needs at least 4 hours to recharge before we can leave again." Wyatt couldn't believe his ears. Rufus looked at him with an understanding look. "I'll come find you once its recharged and we know where we are headed. We'll find her, Wyatt."

Wyatt walked off. He knew he wouldn't be able to sit still. He was concerned for Lucy. Wyatt had seen and heard how angry Flynn had become when Lucy wouldn't let him kill Rittenhouse's son. He could only imagine how angry Flynn would be now that Lucy had again thwarted his plans both in the past and in the present. Wyatt admired that so much about Lucy. She was brave and stood up for what was right – no matter the personal risk. This entire mission tugged at Wyatt's conscience. _I was the one who had ultimately pressured Lucy into helping Flynn by using the Amy's memory to convince her it was alright murder someone. What kind of friend does that?_ As Wyatt stalked through the empty corridors in the basement of Mason Industry, he grew more frustrated with himself and concerned for Lucy as the minutes slipped away into hours. Wyatt decided to go costume room – he'd wait there so that as soon as it was time to go he could get ready and leave immediately. As Wyatt thumbed through all the wardrobe racks he thought _I will find Lucy. I will._

 _ **Hours later**_

As Wyatt and Rufus exited the Lifeboat, Wyatt looked at back the empty seat. _That seat will not be empty when we return. Lucy will be with us. I'm not leaving her again._ Rufus called out to him, "Hey man - this way to town. Any idea what we should do or who we should look for?" Wyatt cynically laughed to himself _No. Lucy isn't here. She would know what to do. I'm just the soldier._ He answered, "My guess is to find Theodore Roosevelt first. He'll be president one day so he is probably one of the most famous people at this World Exposition thing. My best guess is Flynn is looking to take him out – but who really knows." So, they headed into town.

As they walked into Chicago, Wyatt realized how much he had taken Lucy for granted on these trips and how much he missed her genuine excitement to see and live history. He missed her smiles and giddy laughs. _She'd be telling me about all the different people, inventions, foods, and whatnots that are going to be at this crazy fair._ _All I can see was how crowded, dirty, and unorganized this whole city and World Fair is but she'd pointed out all the awesome things about this city, the fair, and the time period. She would show me the positives. Tell me to have an open mind. I loved that about Lucy._

Wyatt slowed his steps as he came upon a big crowd. He turned to Rufus and nodded in the direction of the crowd. They both spotted Roosevelt standing on a platform at the same time. "Looks like we found him," Wyatt said to Rufus. Wyatt immediately started scanning the crowd looking for Flynn, Lucy, or someone he'd recognize. He vaguely heard Rufus say something about Roosevelt being skinny and how weird that was. He didn't care because Wyatt had already seen someone he recognized -one of Flynn's men. He immediately started walking after him. He called out to Rufus, "There is one of Flynn's guys! Let's go."

As they followed Flynn's lackey through the city, they eventually came to a hotel. Wyatt couldn't shake the feeling that something about this seemed wrong. _This was way too easy. He practically led us here. Doesn't he know we are following him?_ It had been too easy to find this guy but Wyatt didn't care. This guy would lead him to Lucy. One way or other, Wyatt would make him take them to Lucy. They entered the hotel and split up to look for Lucy. As he walked the hall always, Wyatt thought to himself _Surely_ _someone has seen Lucy. How could you not notice her? She's beautiful. She radiates goodness. She is always smiling. Goodness, her eyes even sparkle when she smiles. Lucy is impossible not to see._

Wyatt was jarred from his thoughts – it felt like someone was watching him. He stopped walking and turned to look back. No one. _Someone is watching me I can feel it but maybe its just me being paranoid._ Wyatt sighed and immediately turned to keep going. When he turned, he ran immediately ran another woman knocking her belongs out of her hands. "I'm so sorry." Wyatt said. She offered her own apologies. Wyatt bent down to help her collect her things and noticed her drawings. They were building plans. She was an architect. He was impressed and told her as much. As he helped her into her room, he figured it was worth a shot to ask. "I'm looking for a friend. She's gone missing. She has brown eyes. Brown hair. Have you seen her?" The woman was really kind but hadn't seen her. "I'm Wyatt by the way," Wyatt said as his eyes scanned the room. "I'm Sophia. I hope you find your friend." Again, Wyatt heard something. This hotel made him anxious. "I should go." Wyatt headed toward the door but when he turned the doorknob, the door was locked. That's when he heard it– the sound of spewing gas. _That's some type of gas leak or someone is pumping gas into this room. I already feeling light headed_. _This can't be happening._ Wyatt pulled his gun and shot at the door all the while trying not breathe it in. It wasn't working – he losing consciousness. As Wyatt lost consciousness his last thought was _Lucy…_

When Wyatt came to he didn't recognize the man he immediately saw but then he scanned the room again and saw the woman, Sophia, from the room with the gas and then he heard Rufus. "Hey man, I got gassed too. I'm just glad you aren't dead." When the strange man said he had been in the room for hours, Rufus immediately started banging and calling out for help. Wyatt stood and processed their situation. Then he began scanning the room. Sophia explained to Rufus the room was airtight – that caught Wyatt's attention immediately. _We are going to run out of oxygen soon if we don't get out of here_. _I've got to find a way out of here for us. We have to get out._ They began discussing why a room like this even existed in a hotel at the same time Wyatt found the chains hooked to the wall. "Probably the same reason they put gas jets in the guest rooms. Someone built this place to trap people." George, the other prisoner, asked "Who would do that?" "Serial Killers" "Psychopaths" "Someone who wants to torture people for fun." Wyatt and Rufus explained.

Wyatt immediately realized what had happened and stalked over to Rufus. "He lured us here. Flynn knew about this place and he led us straight here." Wyatt gritted through his teeth. Rufus too seemed to have the exact same realization. Wyatt then gasped "God knows what he has told Lucy." Rufus replied, "She could be in here for all we know." Wyatt took a sharp breath in and thought _I had not even considered that – that is even worse scenario than before._ "We have about 4 or 5 hours left of oxygen." Wyatt guessed aloud. "Probably less," Rufus warned.

Wyatt paced around the room. He felt like a caged lion. He just thought Lucy being kidnapped was bad. Now, it was even worse. Thoughts started speeding through his mind. _How did I allowed us get captured? I should have known this was a trap. That guy clearly was leading us here – it was way too easy. Am I losing his touch? I used to be so good at avoiding these very types of situations._ His thoughts then suddenly focused on Lucy _. Where was she? Surely Flynn wouldn't bring her here. Clearly, he needed her for something._ Wyatt internally sighed _If I had never pressured her into helping Flynn in the first place none of this would be happening. Now, barring a miracle, we won't be able to help her._ Wyatt shook his head and tried to break free of those negative thoughts. He would get out and he would find Lucy. It was hard to keep track of the time but Wyatt knew they were running out of time.

Wyatt started re-examining the room. _I am from the future! Surely I could figure out a way out of this 19_ _th_ _century hell-hole_. _The door! I bet I can unlock that door_. He took off his coat and removed the cuff-links. Maybe he could pick or pry the lock open. Wyatt could feel the others watching and pacing while he worked. He could feel their fear. It was palatable. The lantern started flickering. Wyatt knew what it meant but Rufus just had to state the obvious aloud, "We're running out of air." _I've got to keep trying. I'm not going to die like this. Not before I save Lucy_ Wyatt thought. The others began nervously sharing stories about their families. Wyatt could tell they were losing hope. He continued fiddling with the door until he finally admitted to everyone, "This isn't working." Sophiabecame frantic. "We are all going to die in here." She said her father would never know what happened to her – she would be missing. Wyatt slowly turned from the door and looked at her. "I know what that's like to have someone go missing. Not knowing, always wondering. It's the worst part. I'm not going to happen to us...but I need you to help me." Wyatt implored her to calm down and help him figure a way out of the room.

After a little while, Sophia had found the weak spot – one brick. It was made of concrete and it was deteriorating. They could try to make a hole in it so someone would hear them. She handed Wyatt her tie pin and Wyatt went to work trying to create a pin-size hole in the wall. _This has to work. I have to get out of here. I have to save us. I have to find Lucy_. Wyatt kept working until he felt the pin push through. "Hello! Hello?! Can anybody hear me?! Can anybody hear me?! Wyatt kept yelling and banging on the wall. This was it – if not one heard him or came for them - they were finished. "Is anyone out there? Hello! Can anyone hear me!?" Wyatt kept yelling. Then he heard her…Lucy. "Wyatt? Is that you." Rufus had heard her too. So it wasn't his imagination. Lucy had found them.

Wyatt's heart began to soar. "Lucy?!" "Is Rufus with you?" Lucy asked. "Hey! I am! Man, its good to hear your voice" Rufus was so elated he was laughing. "Are you ok?" Lucy asked through the wall. Wyatt thought to himself _She's asking about us? She was the one who was kidnapped. How did she escape? Where's Flynn? We were supposed to save her and somehow she is the one saving us. I've got to stop underestimating her. I have to see her. I have to say sorry for letting Flynn take her._ "Get us out of here," Wyatt yelled. Then he heard another voice. It was a man's voice. "Are you with someone?" _Why doesn't that even matter_ Wyatt thought to himself. _Why do I care?_ But Wyatt's heart felt a pang of jealousy. _Another man had helped to save Lucy. What's wrong with me?_ Lucy stuttered. "I..I brought Harry Houdini with me. He is here to help." Lucy said. Wyatt smiled to himself. _Of course, she brought Harry Houdini._ Then the door suddenly opened and there stood a shorter man with Lucy immediately behind him. Wyatt's feelings of jealousy evaporated into sheer joy and relief. Lucy came running toward him. Wyatt ran to meet her. When he reached her, he enveloped her into his arms and pulled her as tightly in as he could. "Thank God you're alright." Wyatt he whispered in her ear. Wyatt looked at her and took in everything about her. _She's safe. I'll never let her out of my sight again._

"Where's Flynn?" Wyatt asked. Lucy explained what had happened. They all realized they should get going soon. Who knows when their capturer would be back or Flynn for that matter? As they all filed out of the room, Wyatt called Lucy back. "We aren't finished here." Lucy looked at him and understood what he wanted. She didn't fight him about it. They went to look for the man Lucy called H. H. Holmes. When they found the hotel manager, Quinlan, was less than helpful. He told Wyatt and Lucy Holmes was probably in his office upstairs. Wyatt was fixated on finding and punishing Holmes. "Show me" and marched the manager upstairs leaving Lucy behind. He just assumed she was safe. Rufus was right outside with their fellow survivors. Wyatt turned and looked at her, "Get the police. Go right now." It never even crossed his mind that Holmes was already watching them.

When Wyatt and the manager made it upstairs, Wyatt looked around. The room was empty. As he and the manager made their way downstairs he heard her screamed. "Wyatt! Wyatt!" Wyatt rushed down the stairs. He met Rufus at the bottom. "Where is she? Where's Lucy?" Rufus had no idea. Lucy was gone again. Wyatt was furious – furious with himself. _How can this be happening again? I've left her alone again._ He had left her again and this time it wasn't Flynn who had taken her. Flynn had a use for Lucy. Wyatt always knew Flynn wouldn't really hurt her. H.H. Holmes…he was a serial killer. He would. Wyatt knew Holmes was still here in one of his secret rooms in this blasted hotel. Wyatt would find him and when he did he would kill him.

Wyatt turned full of rage to Quinlan, "Where is he?! Where would he take her!" Wyatt put his gun to his head and demanded an answer. "The basement. He sometimes goes to the basement." Wyatt and Rufus rushed downstairs. Wyatt heard her screaming "Get me out of here!" Wyatt burst through the door and ran down the basement stairs. Wyatt took aim at Holmes while Rufus went to free Lucy. Wyatt didn't see Lucy anywhere and then he realized where the screaming was coming from…she was in the furnace. Wyatt nearly lost all of his composure. _He put her in the furnace. She's terrified of closed spaces. I'm going to kill him._ Once Rufus had freed her, Wyatt demanded Holmes give him one reason not to shot him. Holmes claimed he would confess and tell all his victim's families about their missing family members. He promised closure. Wyatt wasn't sure if he was screwing with him since Wyatt has spoken of having missing families early in their prison so he asked Lucy if he was telling the truth. Lucy hesitantly responded almost in a near whisper "Wyatt." Wyatt knew it was putting Lucy in a position she didn't want to be in but he asked her again anyway. Wyatt had to know. Lucy reluctantly answered, "No. He lies about everything and sells his story for profit." Without hesitation, Wyatt pulled the trigger….

 _ **Back at Mason Industries**_

After the team returned, they all headed in different directions to clean up and change. Everyone needed space and time to compose themselves. Wyatt headed to the shower room. He needed to decompress. He was still wound so tightly. Lucy had been kidnapped. Instead of him saving her, she had saved him. Then he had left her alone again and she was nearly killed by a madman. Then, he had killed the man to protect her or Jessica's memory. He wasn't even sure which it was. Wyatt let the hot water roll off his back. _It didn't matter. None of it. Lucy is safe._ _She is back…with him._

Then it Wyatt like a ton of bricks…he hadn't really thought about Jessica that much in Chicago. Not until someone mentioned being missing. Wyatt hadn't while thought about her when he was locked in that room. His sole thought was getting out to save Lucy. He hadn't when Wyatt thought they were all going to die in there. Again, all his thoughts had been for Lucy. Who was going to save Lucy? What would happen to her? It wasn't until Sophia had mentioned her father never knowing what happened to her that Jessica even crossed his mind. But even then, it was not the way Wyatt thought Jessica should have crossed his mind. She was almost an afterthought. _What is going on with me? I can't love two women at one time. Wait. I'm not even in love with Lucy. I'm just projecting. I love my wife. I love Jessica._ Wyatt ran his hands through his wet hair – trying to make sense of his thoughts. _Yes. I love my wife. But, I'm not just projecting on my feelings for Jessica onto Lucy. I care about Lucy. I deeply care for her. I have even before Arkansas. I care about her so much that she was the woman I was thinking about when I thought I was going to die…not Jessica._ Wyatt had killed Holmes out of justice for his victims; out of his own pent up rage for Jessica's murder; and for trying to kill Lucy. But now what he wasn't sure if he was more angry at Holmes for taking Lucy or for what he represented about Jessica. _I'm not even sure why or for whom I really killed that man._

Wyatt turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. _How could that be? When had Lucy taken over some much of his heart and mind?_ Wyatt first grew annoyed at Lucy. This had been happening more frequently especially after Arkansas. _If she hadn't had worn that stupid engagement ring I would never had to pretend to be engaged to her. I would never have had to hold her, lay with her, kiss her._ As Wyatt continued to get dressed, he realized his frustration was misplaced. It wasn't Lucy's fault. It was his. _I didn't even believe myself when I told her we were just playing the part_. _I enjoyed it – being with her is so natural. I don't even have to work at it like Jessica and I had to sometimes near the end. It's easy to be with Lucy – even when we fight its easy. I think about what it would be like to be with Lucy when I'm at home instead of focusing on finding Jessica's murder_. _I'm even jealous of her fake fiancé. When did my heart become attached to Lucy? How did I let this happen? I'm in love the ghost of my wife and the woman I work with every day. I can't love two women. It's not right._

Once Wyatt was completely dressed, he headed back to the locker room to pick up his stuff and head home. He wanted to avoid Lucy – avoid his feelings. Wyatt knew if he saw her he would want to take care of her. He knew she hated tight places and feeling out of control. He also knew she was still shaken by Flynn's kidnapping and just putting up a good front so people wouldn't worry. And, Wyatt also recognized that Lucy had no one to really talk to. She was alone…like him. Two broken halves - only made whole when in each other's presence.

Wyatt changed his mind and decided he needed…no, he wanted to see Lucy. Lucy gave him peace and he hoped to he could offer to her as well. Wyatt decided then, he was going to try to let go of Jessica's ghost. He'd always love his wife but it was time to try to move on. Facing death in that hotel had put some of his thoughts into perspective and since the majority of his thoughts had been for Lucy. Wyatt thought _That has to mean something, right?_

As he headed out to go find Lucy, his phone rang. Wyatt thought _Weird. Its an unknown caller. Who would be calling me this late at night…_


	3. Chapter 3: What Have I Done?

**What have I done?** \- Wyatt POV (episode 12/13)

Wyatt looked down at his wrists – handcuffed and chained to a table in a windowless room. As he rested his head in his hands, Wyatt couldn't believe how he had gotten here. How had he allowed himself to end up here – like this? He balled his hands up into fists and slammed them onto the table. _What have I done?_ Trying to answer his own questions, Wyatt began to think back to the phone he called received a few weeks ago and how that one call had ruined everything.

Wyatt remembered answering the call on his cell from an unknown number. He recalled Flynn almost taunting him with the name…Wes Gilliam. What had Flynn asked him Wyatt thought? _What are you going to do about it?_ Yes, Flynn was definitely trying to egg him on. Wyatt knew it. Wyatt was going to try not to take the bait instead he'd try find out the truth. After Wyatt's visit with Gilliam – he knew for certain Flynn was telling him the truth. Gilliam had killed his wife. Wyatt sat in his truck afterwards his visit and thought about what he should do. _He is already in prison for murdering women. He is already being punished. No, I have a time machine. I can fix this. I will fix it. I can undo what he did_. He was shaken out of his thoughts with his phone ringing. It was Agent Christopher. Wyatt sighed. _This always happens. I get close to something and I have to go on one of these time trips. What can Flynn be doing now? I don't want to have to deal with this right now. I don't want to have to explain what's going on with me to Rufus or Lucy. They'll know something's up with me. I'm not even sure what I'm going to do yet._ He groaned internally… _they will definitely want to talk about it._ Wyatt started his truck and headed to Mason Industry. As he looked in his review mirror he wondered, _why wasn't getting Gilliam's name and seeing him in prison not enough. I should be happy – thrilled. But I'm not. Why not?_ Wyatt adjusted his eyes back forwards and tried to push avenging Jessica's murder out of his mind.

When Wyatt got to Mason Industries he could tell something was wrong with Rufus. He was quieter, less happy than normal. Wyatt made a mental note to try to remember to asked him about it later. Wyatt scanned the room. Lucy wasn't here yet. A small part of him was annoyed – the sooner she got here the sooner they could leave and come back and the sooner he'd be back to doing what he wanted – avenging Jessica. Wyatt immediately felt bad. Lucy had been showing up late to Mason Industries since her return from Chicago. Wyatt was concerned. Something was clearly bothering her. _Whatever it was, it most really be getting to her_ Wyatt thought. _She's even later than normal today. I hope she is ok._

Rufus began telling them where Flynn had jumped. April 3, 1882. Out of the back of the room, Lucy's quiet voice broke the silence, "That's the day Jesse James died." Lucy then proceeded to tell them the story. As Rufus checked out the information Lucy had given them, Wyatt discreetly examined Lucy. She was tired. She had dark circles under her eyes. Her eyes dull instead bright. She seemed distant, cold, resigned. She didn't even smile at him when their eyes connected _._ _Something was wrong._ As Agent Christopher dismissed them, Wyatt again tried to smile at her but Lucy just sat in her chair – staring at the floor. As Wyatt walked off to get dressed, he heard Agent Christopher ask her if she was ok. Lucy hesitated before saying "yes, yeh, I'm ok." Wyatt knew she was lying. He could always tell. _I've got to check on her_ Wyatt thought. _I will after the mission._

When the finally made into the 1882, they found the house James was supposed to have died in – James wasn't there. He wasn't dead – Flynn saved him. _Great, why would he save that whack job_ Wyatt thought. Rufus asked Lucy, "Where would he take him?" Lucy remained silent. She was just staring at the infamous painting on the wall. Rufus tried to ask again but all Lucy said was "well maybe he needed help robbing something. He is a bank robber." Wyatt quirked up his eyebrow, _Yes, something is definitely wrong. I need to check on her._ As they walked into the town, Wyatt noticed Lucy was very quiet. She didn't even seem to be excited to be in the "Wild West" as Rufus called it. Once they got there, they found that James had killed more people in the saloon. Wyatt became annoyed and frustrated. He started marching off ignoring Rufus' calls for him to calm down and think. _Doesn't he know those people were supposed to live? James is riding around killing people who should have lived. We've got to stop that. I won't let another murder escape._ As Wyatt ranted, he saw that Lucy had basically zoned him out again. She was just staring into open space. _Enough already. I want to stop Flynn and James so I can go home and save Jessica._ Wyatt looked at Lucy, "I don't know what's going on with you but you need to get your head in the game." Wyatt same the look Rufus gave him; he knew Rufus could tell something was wrong with her too and was annoyed Wyatt lost his patience with her. Lucy looked up and said, "You're right. I'm sorry." Instantly, Wyatt felt guilty for how he had spoken to her. _I'm not the only one who is struggling right now. I need to be patient and try to figure out what's going on with her._ Eventually, they decided they needed a guide. Lucy knew who to asked – a man named Bass Reeves. She quietly led the way.

As the mission progressed, Wyatt became more emotionally torn and frustrated. As they rode with Reeves to catch up with Jesse James and Flynn, Wyatt tried to calm his raging heart and mind. It felt like he had two versions of himself warring inside. _I wish this mission would just end. I'll kill James myself – I don't care the promises I've made. I want this to be over so I can go home and figure out a way to save Jessica. This is just a distraction. It is just one more day Jessica could be alive but she isn't._ Wyatt turned his head as they rode and watched Lucy. _What is going on with her? She looks so sad and tired. I shouldn't have snapped at her earlier. I need to be more attentive to what is going on with her. Between her sister disappearing, gaining a new fiancé, and her now rocky relationship with her mother, she's got to having a hard time. I wonder who she talks to. Does she even have anyone to talk to?_

When they made camp, Lucy just sat quietly by the fire. She made no effort to talk to anyone – she didn't even lift up her eyes from the fire. As they warmed themselves, Bass Reeves came and sat with them. Wyatt turned and asked if Reeves was really going to just capture James. "He is wanted dead or alive. Wouldn't' it be easier just to kill him?" Wyatt asked. Reeves told him it was the right thing to do. Wyatt sighed. _When did I start wanting to take the easy way instead of the right way?_ Almost like Reeves was reading Wyatt's mind, he said, "Who the hell ever said easy and right were the same thing?" Wyatt felt his stomach drop. _He is right. They aren't._

After Reeves walked off, Rufus said, "This guy is a good guy. We can't double cross him." Wyatt again grew annoyed. Jesse James was a bad person – he deserved what he got. "He can't hurt anyone if he is dead, like he is supposed to be." Wyatt spat back at Rufus. Rufus turned and sneered at Wyatt. "What's with you lately? You've been uptight since before we got here." _Crap, Rufus knows something is going on._ "I'm fine." Wyatt sighed. Rufus responded, "Spoken in a way that is far from fine." Wyatt closed his eyes. _Who cares about any of this. James deserves to die. It's what happens in history. Rufus can just get over it. The sooner he is dead, the sooner we can go home._ _The sooner I can save Jess._ Wyatt sighed. _Might as well at least tell them what's going on so they leave me alone._ "I saw him. I met with him. Jessica's killer. Flynn called. He gave me the name." Wyatt watched their reactions out of the side of his eyes. He knew they were concerned he was clearly teetering on the edge of reckless. He didn't care. Lucy quietly ask, "Did he admit to it?" Wyatt callously responded, "He murdered to other women besides Jessica. If I could go back and put a bullet in his brain. I would do it. I wouldn't think twice about it." _Great, now they are going to try to sympathize with me. Try to comfort me and talk me out of doing what I already know I'm going to do. Screw them. They don't know what it is like._ Rufus attempted to assuage Wyatt's anger. "Look, Wyatt. I can't even imagine what its like to..." Rufus paused, "its just…do you know the guy I shot in Houston? It's been hard. Maybe killing shouldn't be an every day type of thing. It should be harder for the good guys. How far are we really willing to go?" Rufus quietly admitted. Through gritted teeth, Wyatt responded, "What we are doing…its right." Rufus then reminded him, "I'm sure Flynn tells himself and his men that every single day." _He is right_ Wyatt thought _. I shouldn't be so willing to just kill someone._

Wyatt noticed Lucy remained silent throughout the entire conservation. "You want to back me up here?" Wyatt curtly asked. She sat quietly…never taking her eyes off the flames. She whispered, "I don't know if I can, Wyatt." Lucy swallowed hard. "Yesterday was my sister's birthday. I didn't remember." Concern, empathy, guilt, all of it immediately washed over Wyatt. "Yeh but you didn't…" She cut him off, "I should have remembered. I'm the only person on the planet who even knows she existed." Wyatt started shaking his head. _How could I be so insensitive? So obtuse?_ He saw the tears streak down her face. Lucy continued, "Flynn as crazy as he is, he appears to be telling the truth. Rittenhouse is real and it is dangerous. Who's to say what's right and wrong anymore?" Something in Wyatt snapped. "Listen, both of you, we've got a job to do." Lucy interrupted him. "I don't want to do this job anymore. I want my sister back. I want to go home." Wyatt didn't know what to say. Lucy had never been this way. She was so defeated. _I don't know how to help her. I should be trying harder to help her but frankly I'm tired of helping. I just want Jessica back. Now, we'll just have to deal with this when we get back to Mason's place. Just another thing to distract me from Jessica._

When they finally caught up to with Flynn and James, it was nightfall. They headed into the cabin to wait. It wasn't long before the cabin came under fire. Wyatt ran and pushed Lucy to the ground and covered her body. Wyatt panicked. Lucy had nearly been shot. Wyatt growled to himself _this ends now_.Wyatt snuck out the back so he could get the jump on James or Flynn or both. After James unloaded his automatic rifle, Wyatt knew he had him; James didn't know what he was doing with that gun. Wyatt went to shoot him but couldn't bring himself to plug the trigger. James surrendered. Dropped his weapons and surrendered to Reeves. Wyatt still refused to drop his gun as he processed to situation. _James has to die…he is supposed to. But I can't kill an unarmed man. He just surrendered. I gave Reeves my word. But James is supposed to die…_ Wyatt was jarred from his thoughts by a gun shot. James fell to the ground. He looked up to see a trembling Lucy holding a pistol. "Lucy?!" Wyatt exclaimed. She dropped the gun and just walked back into the cabin.

Wyatt slammed his fist on the table and tried to break free of his cuffs. _I'm total tool. All I could do the entire mission was think about getting home to figure out a way to save Jessica. Lucy was clearly upset. She struggling. All I wanted to do was finish the mission and come home. If I had only paid a little more attention, I would have noticed Lucy was unravelling. Instead, I was so caught up in my own issues that I put Lucy in the situation that she had to kill James. Lucy should never had have to kill a man. I'm the soldier. Killing was my job. But I was so wrapped up in my own personal problems that I failed her…again._

Wyatt reflected back on the entire James mission. It should have been a warning to him. Even the words Bass Reeves' spoke to him should have served as warnings. _Doing what is right isn't always easy._ Instead, Wyatt knew he had ignored all the messages, all the cautionary signs, all the team problems. He discounted it all. Once they had landed back at Mason Industries. He didn't check on Rufus like he promised himself he would and he flat out ignored Lucy. _Let them deal with their own problems. I've got mine to sort through so they can deal with theirs._ When Wyatt left, he straight went to his favorite bar. He'd taken Jessica her multiple times while they were dating and then after they were married. As he sat there nursing his beer, Wyatt convinced himself that the only way to save Jessica was to erase Gilliam. So, he called Rufus and waited for him to get to the bar.

"I want you to help me steal the time machine to save Jess." Wyatt turned and looked at Rufus, "Will you help me save my wife?" Wyatt knew from the look of Rufus' face that he thought the plan was insane but he also knew that Rufus would help him. They were friends. Rufus had already indicated he'd do anything to save his family. Wyatt knew he could count on him. Wyatt turned his head back to his beer and fiddled with the labeled. _There's another person I'm going to have to talk to about this – Lucy. What am I going to tell her?_

Wyatt winced as he recollected the incident. _If I had just taken the time to help them and to calm down, none of this would have happened. Why had I let Flynn get me so much upset? I should have calmed down and thought about it first. Jessica would be so disappointed in me_. Wyatt stared at the empty wall. Then it hit him, Wyatt had acted impulsively and out of anger and frustration when he made the decision to go back and erase Gilliam. It was the exact same mindset that had led him to leave Jessica on the side of the road that fateful night. He was angry, quick-tempered, and frustrated then just as he had been in that far. _Fantastic. The same emotions that led to my wife being killed led me to betray my team, possibly ruin my friendship with Rufus, and destroy whatever relationship he had with Lucy._

Wyatt was on the verge of a break down. All he had were his memories and his conscience to keep him company as the minutes slipped into hours. How long had he been sitting here? Would this be what it was like in prison? Constantly remembering his mistakes? The should haves and could ofs? Wyatt couldn't stop his memories from flooding back. Each one plagued both his heart and his mind.

Immediately his mind flashed back to the previous 36 hours.

Wyatt was back at Lucy's in the middle of the night frantically banging on her door. As he waited by the door, Wyatt thought _Why am I here? I am not going to let her come. It is too dangerous. She could get in trouble and then she would never be able to save Amy. Why then did I come to here then? Why do I feel the need to tell her – to explain myself? Why does all of this feel so wrong?_ Wyatt continued knocking on her door. She was home – he knew she was. _I hope I don't wake her mother up. I only want to talk to Lucy. I have to explain myself. I have to see her…one last time_. The door finally swung up. Lucy stood in front of him in her pajamas. Wyatt breath caught in his throat. _She beautiful. She's always so beautiful._

Lucy let out a tentative and confused "Hi? Is everything ok?" and Wyatt stepped in to the foyer. Wyatt knew this conversation was going to be tense, strained, and emotional. He was torn. _I don't want to do this but I have to do._ He knew the implications about what he wanted to do – what it meant. He just wasn't sure how Lucy would take it. To deflect the situation for just a few more seconds, Wyatt commented on the house. "Nice place." _Nice place? Why did I just say that?_ Wyatt thought. He internally sighed. _Here goes nothing._

"Look, I'm sorry it's so late. But I've got to tell you something. I'm only telling you because I trust you." _At least that was partially true – it was ONE of the reasons I am here._ Wyatt had buried the other reasons deep down in his heart. He didn't want to think about why this hurt his heart so much. Wyatt noticed that Lucy was already closing herself off to him. Wrapping her robe and her arms tightly around her torso. _She is so tiny_. _She already knows something's wrong_ Wyatt thought. Lucy looked at him with concern in her eyes. "Ok." Wyatt spat out the words as quickly as he could, "I'm going to get Jessica back." _There I've said it. Aloud._

Lucy's face said it all – she was hurt, confused, and concerned. "What?"

"Me and Rufus. Tonight. We are stealing the lifeboat." _Even I know that sounds crazy_ Wyatt thought to himself as he watched his words slowly sink in with Lucy. She laughed. "Do you have any idea how much trouble you are going to get into? That's…this is...its insane." Wyatt could tell she was frustrated and growing angry so he tried to defuse to situation with humor again. "That's an understatement." As soon as the words were out, he realized that was not the appropriate response. Lucy was worried about him and he was trying to make light of it by joking. _Well done, Logan. Great job. You're just making this worse._

But then Lucy surprised him. "Ok, give me a second. Let me get dressed," Lucy said as she headed back up the stairs. He hadn't expected such a response. Wyatt wasn't sure she'd even support his decision – let alone want a part of it. Breaking the rules – the law – never seemed like something Lucy would ever do. She was the team's conscience – its guide. _Great, now I'm corrupting her. I can't let this continue._ "Lucy, Lucy…no…no. No. I'm not dragging you into this," Wyatt said firmly. Wyatt watched her as she kept walking up the stairs, "If you think for one second I'm letting you go without me you're insane." Wyatt was moved by her loyalty and devotion to him. _I don't deserve her._ Wyatt knew coming here - having this conversation was going to hurt her. It wasn't his intention when he came to see her. He just wanted her to know what he was doing but now he knew that knowledge was going to come at a heavy price to both him and Lucy.

Wyatt sighed and said, "You made a deal with Agent Christopher to get your sister back. If you come, that's out the window. You know that." Wyatt watched her carefully and thought to himself. _Rich. I'm using Amy against her again. How many times is that now? Using her devotion to her sister against her to get her do what I want? What kind of friend am I? At least this time, I'm not being completely selfish. I do want her to get Amy back – she can't help me if she wants that._ Lucy faltered and slowly turned toward Wyatt. "But..but does it have to be tonight?" _This is it. No going back now_ Wyatt thought _._ "I don't have a deal. The moment we actually stop Flynn they're never letting me back in that time machine." Lucy scrambled to try to get him to see reason. "What if Flynn takes out the mothership while you're gone? What if you get into a sticky history situation and you can't get yourself out of it? What are you going to do without me?" Lucy's eyes immediately found Wyatt's. Her question hung in the air.

It was the last question that made Wyatt's heart instantly crumble. He had come to depend on her and he knew she had come to depend on him. They needed each other and by doing what this – going back to save Jessica – he was telling Lucy she wasn't enough. He'd rather have his wife back than try to move on with her. _Why did she have to ask me that? I don't want to say this. Please don't make me answer you_. So again, Wyatt tried to distract Lucy's keen mind with humor. "I've done my research. I've got it handled" He quipped with a small smirk. But even that remark cut Lucy's heart deeply and Wyatt could tell. _I just said I didn't need her help – even as my friend and my teammate. That's not what I meant_ Wyatt internally screamed but outwardly he silently winced. Wyatt knew she had taken it that way. _Perfect_.

It didn't work. Lucy continued to press him on his plans. She still wanted to help him. Wyatt could tell she was becoming upset he wasn't going to let her. "What if someone gets hurt? She asked. _Great, now I'm going to tell her about going to back to the past to erase someone – just like what had happened to Amy. She's never going to look at me the same._ "We are going to go back and make sure his parents never meet. Make sure he is never born. Nobody is getting hurt." Wyatt couldn't even look Lucy in the eye. He knew it was wrong. _What am I doing? Jessica would never want me to do this. This is wrong. I know it. Lucy knows it._

The silence hung between them as Lucy looked into Wyatt's eyes – boring a hole through his heart and soul. _I've got to try to explain myself better._ "Lucy, Jessica's murderer killed two other women. My hope is to save all three." _There that sounds little better._ Lucy looked down at the floor and whispered, "What about Rufus?" Wyatt spit out… "I've got that covered..." But before he could even finish his sentence Lucy asked, "But what about you? Best case scenario you get kicked off the team." Without thinking Wyatt blurted out, "If Jessica never dies, it will all be worth it."

After he said it, Wyatt immediately wished he could take it back. How could he both mean it and not at the same time. _I should have thought about how to answer all these questions before I came over here. I'm breaking her. I can tell._ But, the implications of what he just said broke Wyatt's heart as much as it did Lucy's. Wyatt knew he had really hurt her. _I just told her it would be of if I never met her. I basically said I don't care enough about the team, about Rufus, about…her. After everything we've been through – after everything we've shared. I just told Lucy none of it matter._ Wyatt hadn't considered how hard this would be for him. Wyatt felt his heart – the part Lucy had resurrected with her faith, goodness, and devotion to him - breaking. He was smashing the heart Lucy had helped him build into pieces. _I'm a jerk._

Lucy slowly sank down into the stairs. Wyatt heard her softly say "oh." She had not meant for him but he heard it anyway. Wyatt knew then he had broken her heart and shattered her trust in him all in one swift swoop. Then she covered her face and began to cry. Wyatt didn't know what to say or do. He would normally have rushed to her side and held her. Wyatt wanted to take her in his arms and tell her it would all be ok. They would figure it out together like they always did. But Wyatt stood still. _I can't do that to her. It needs to be a clean break – for the both of us. Its better this way – she'll understand one day._ _I didn't mean to hurt her. I never meant for her or me to develop feelings for each other. I have to do this – I have to save Jessica. It's my fault she's dead. I can't stay here anymore. I've got to get out of here – I've got to get away from Lucy._ Wyatt felt his like his heart was about to explode. Wyatt turned his gaze from her, not wanting to see her cry, "Are you okay?" _What kind of question is that Logan_ he thought to himself. _Clearly she is not ok. What are you doing? Just leave. You've done enough._

His question seemed to shake Lucy out of her thoughts and she immediately stopped crying. When she looked up at him, Wyatt could tell she had put a mask on… _she's completely closed herself off to me._ It was like when they first meet – their first couple of missions before her had earned her confidence and trust. She now was hiding her emotions from him again. He could almost hear the door to her heart slamming. "What do you need me to do?" Lucy calmed asked. Wyatt quickly explained to her they just needed a few minutes before she called Agent Christopher. _Gosh, I'm a total tool. I've hurt Lucy and I'm still asking for favors for her._ When he had finished, he finally looked back at her…into her eyes. With tears in her eyes, she looked up at him and asked, "Why does this feel like we are saying goodbye?"

Wyatt didn't answer. _I can't give her the hope…a clean break._ So, Wyatt, remained silent and did not give her the reassurance she wanted, no, the reassurance she needed. If it all went according to his plan, it was goodbye. Wyatt knew it and now Lucy knew it too. When he didn't answer, realization spread across Lucy's face. She immediately stood up and walked over to him. They hadn't been this physically close since she's saved him from Holmes's murder hotel. Since Wyatt had taken her in his arms and held her so tight. Wyatt had been so relieved that she was safe and still with him. That moment seemed so long ago now…

Wyatt looked into her eyes and saw Lucy's heart complete break in that singular moment. He gulped. _Please, let her remember me when I get back. Even with Jessica back…I still want to know Lucy. I still want…_ Wyatt didn't even know what he expected. He couldn't continue to be close to Lucy with Jessica back in his life. His own thoughts haunted him… _a clean break, Logan, remember?_ So, he stood still and made no move to reach out to her – even though he desperately wanted to hold her one last time. After what felt like an eternity, Lucy took his jacket collar and smoothed it down. "Good luck, Wyatt." He could barely speak. I _don't deserve her friendship or her heart…._ "Thank you Ma'am." Wyatt said as he looked at her for what he thought to be one last time. Lucy nodded at him and he turned to leave.

Wyatt thought back to his rogue mission Toledo. It was a complete disaster. From the very beginning, things had gone terribly wrong. The plane landed early. Then the tornado hit. His cover being blown by those stewardesses. The cop arresting him. Gilliam's accidental death. _I am responsible for that man's death_ Wyatt thought. _I'm no better than Flynn. Jessica would be so ashamed of me. She would never have wanted this – none of it. What have I done?_ _Jessica is still dead_. _Now, I am in prison_. _I've ruined everything_.

Wyatt banged his hands on table. The gravity of the situation began to hit Wyatt. He was probably going to be put in Leavenworth – never to see the light of day again. He laughed to himself…that's not even the worst. Rufus and Lucy would have to keep traveling in time to save history and stop Flynn or Rittenhouse – probably both. Someone else would have to oversee protecting them…protecting Lucy. Wyatt had put Lucy's life in the hands of a stranger. Wyatt immediately felt guilty. In all his awesome plan-making, he had not really considered the long-term ramifications of his decisions had on the team. _I was so fixated…obsessed over Jessica I didn't think about anything or anyone else_. _Isn't that what Flynn said I would be like when he read me that blasted journal entry?_ Wyatt shook his head in disgust. Lucy didn't trust people easily. She had begged him at the Alamo to stay with her – not to leave her. _I trust you. I need you, Wyatt_ she had said. Lucy had saved him from the brink of despair and he had thrown her away for the mere possibility of saving his wife and appeasing his guilty conscience. Now, he had forced Lucy to have to trust someone she didn't know and more importantly who didn't know Lucy.

Wyatt was so lost in his thoughts he didn't realize the door to his cell had opened. When he finally looked up from his hands, he saw Agent Christopher sitting across from him. She looked at him with a frustrated look, "You should have come to me but you didn't." Wyatt tried to start explain himself but Christopher interrupted him. "I know. Lucy told me. She adamantly defended you, you should know by the way. She didn't even want us to arrest you. Begged us not to but you knew we were going to or you wouldn't have stage the hostage scene with Rufus." Wyatt again tried to cut in but she continued talking. "I thought you'd want to know…while you and Rufus were on your little _**trip**_ , Lucy had to meet with Anthony. He demanded a meet with Rufus but he wasn't here as you know so… Lucy had to go instead. He briefly kidnapped her and held her at gun point. When she finally got back safely, I started showing her some she some reconnaissance photos I had taken of Connor Mason's meetings with Rittenhouse agents. She recognized someone…her father. Benjamin Cahill. It is a whole ordeal. We are still trying to figure it all out. I shouldn't even be telling you this about because right now you are a felon and no longer have clearance for our missions."

Wyatt was stunned. All that had happened while they were gone. Lucy had been kidnapped, again? Her father was Rittenhouse?! And, she still had tried to save him. Wyatt had to find out more. He was about to ask Christopher for more information when her phone rang. She stepped outside for a moment and then came back inside his cell. "Flynn's taken the mothership out to the 1920s. Since you're in here, for who knows how long, we've had to replace you sooner than I wanted. I was hoping to smooth this all over with Mason before Flynn went out again but he must be anxious to get out in the field while the team is…" she paused, "distracted." Christopher packed up her files and turned to Wyatt. "I'll try to keep you updated as best as I can until I can get you out of here." Then she left and the door closed. He was alone again.

At first Wyatt's thoughts were rushing through everything Agent Christopher had just told him _Did Flynn lie to me? Was this all part of his plan to break up the team? Jessica is still dead. Now, I'm locked up in this cell and Lucy and Rufus have to go on missions without me. Did I walk right into another one of his blasted traps? Is this how he convinces Lucy to come work with him? Does he tell her I'll never get out? Does he tell her I don't care about her – that it will only ever be Jessica?_ When Christopher revealed that the team had to go back into time his mind instantly became quiet and his heart plummeted. Wyatt became frantic with a new realization. If Rufus and Lucy traveled back to the past - things would change. He wouldn't be with them so he wouldn't know the about changes. His timeline would not match theirs's. What if…he gasped for air. _What if I don't know them tomorrow? What if…I lose Lucy too?_ Wyatt swallowed hard – a whirlwind of emotions threatened to overtake him. _I should have listened to Lucy. She tried to warn me about all of this but I wouldn't listen to her. I've got to get out of here. I've got to get to them they go back before something changes….before I don't know Lucy._


	4. Chapter 4: Dreams (Episode 14)

Wyatt's POV – Episodes 14 – "Dreams"

 **(Author's note: Sorry for the delay! I hope to have the next two episodes written and posted within the next week! #RenewTimeless #SaveLyatt)**

Wyatt just stared at the door after Agent Christopher left. He didn't want a defense lawyer – he didn't deserve one. He had stolen the time machine, abandoned…no, betrayed his friends, accidently killed a man, and had again failed to save Jessica. He deserved whatever punish the government was going to send his way. _Leavenworth– I can handle it_. _No one will even miss me. No one even cares that I'm here._ Even has Wyatt was thinking those things he knew them to be untrue. Lucy. She would care. She would miss him. Wyatt shook his head. He couldn't think about that right now – he couldn't think about her – the decision had already been made. He had stolen the time machine and damned the consequences when he did it but still a part of him was screaming at the himself. _What have I done?_ As the hours passed, Wyatt's confidence in his decision-making began to wane. While he still held firm to his decision to try to save Jessica, he was beginning to wonder if he had underestimated the cost. Wyatt grew tired and frustrated. He had been up for hours and still had no clue what the future really held for him. So, he succumbed to sleep but he soon found his sleep would not bring him the escape he so desperately craved…

Wyatt was walking down a long hallway. Doors running along the entire corridor. The lights were flickering. It was dark and ominous. Wyatt felt trapped in the hallway – the darkness was consuming him. So, he began trying to open doors. Finally, a door opened and he rushed through it to try to escape the darkness.

When he opened the door, it was the door to his apartment. Wyatt walked in, threw his keys into the bowl by the door, and hung his jacket up – just like he always did. Nothing seemed different. At least he was back home. As Wyatt walked down his hallway, he thought to himself _Nothing went right back in the 1980s. Jessica was still dead_. His apartment was just as lifeless and cold as it was before he left. He headed to his spare bedroom - the room he had converted into office space to figure out Jessica's murder. When he opened the bedroom door, the room didn't look the same. _Something's wrong_ Wyatt thought. The newspaper clippings, the police reports, everything was different. He examined the board with all his theories and ideas - nothing was the same. He didn't know any of these names and didn't recognize any of his theories. Immediately Wyatt became sick to his stomach. He realized that Jessica was still dead but her murder had happened differently – everything about it was different. He would have to start over from ground zero. He'd never find out who was responsible for her death now. Frustrated and defeated, Wyatt ran out of the room. He grabbed his coat and his keys. He had to get out of his apartment. He never wanted to come back here. His trip to the past had only made things worse. He swung his apartment door open and rushed out…

When Wyatt stepped outside his apartment, he had gone back in time and was now stepping outside of the Lifeboat and back into Mason industries. He looked down as his clothes and turned to look at Rufus. _We are just now returning from the 1980s. I've got to be dreaming_ Wyatt thought to himself _._ Yet, Wyatt couldn't wake himself so the dream continued. Wyatt stepped out of the Lifeboat just like he had in real life but this time Agent Christopher and Jiya were there to meet them after their unsanctioned trip "Where's Jessica? Is she alive?" Wyatt yelled. Both women looked sadly at each other, "No. But the two other women are…" _Just as before_ Wyatt thought. As the security guards made their way to arrest Wyatt, Wyatt realized Lucy was missing. "Where's Lucy? Lucy was here last time. She is the one who told me. Where is she?!" Wyatt demanded. Rufus added, "Yeh, where is Lucy? She should be here." At this question, Jiya and Christopher looked at each and Agent Christopher tentatively answered, "Lucy is upstairs. Why do you care? You can't stand Lucy. You two barely have a working relationship." Jiya added, "You aren't friends, were you before?" Wyatt became frantic and starting yelling. "Yes. Yes! We are friend. We are close – very close. I have to speak to her. Now." Agent Christopher raised her eyebrow and looked up at the control room, Wyatt followed her eyes and saw Lucy watching. Lucy left the control room and walked towards the group. "What's your problem Master Sergeant? I tried to warn you that this would be the consequence of your decision but you didn't listen. You always think you know better than me. And what is this business you are screaming about us being friends. We aren't. We've never been friends. You made that abundantly clear ever since we started working together." Lucy pointedly stated. Wyatt was shaking his head and begged, "No, Lucy. No. We're friends. Don't you remember? Castle Varlar? The Alamo? The French and Indian War? The Murder Castle?" Lucy cut in, "Yes, I remember those times. You nearly got us all killed because you wouldn't listen to me. You even demanded a new historian be assigned to the team after the Alamo." Lucy sighed and started walking away. Wyatt broke free of the guards and chased after her. "No, I would never want that. Lucy don't you remember….Lucy!" Wyatt yelled. By the time he caught up to her, she was about to exit the building. Wyatt had one last chance so he begged her, "Lucy, please you've got to remember. Yes, we started out kind of rough but you and I have become close. Don't' you remember our kiss with Bonnie and Clyde. You wanted me to be open to possibilities? Please, tell me you remember." Lucy turned to face him one more time and said, "No, Wyatt. I don't" and then she walked out of the building. Wyatt lunged for the door _I can't lose Lucy too_ Wyatt thought and he pushed through the door to race after her….

When he walked through the door, he was in a new place again. This time he was in unfamiliar house. He was back in his civilian clothes. _Will this dream never end_ Wyatt thought. Until it did, Wyatt continued to walk down the hallway. When he got to the kitchen, there was a folded note next to a plate of food "I knew the mission would take longer than you thought. I'm glad your home. I missed you." The note was signed with a drawn heart and the name "Luce." _Weird_ Wyatt , Wyatt continued to explore the house to try to figure out what was going on. He turned his attention to the living room. A lamp was on and a glass of red wine sitting on an end table next to the couch. As he rounded the couch, he saw Lucy sleeping with a book on her chest. She looked so peaceful. As his eyes continued to take her in, he realized she was wearing one of his shirts and an odd feeling swelled in his chest. _She's beautiful_. He continued to trace her with his eyes, he saw one of her slender legs was outside of the blanket. Wyatt gulped hard. Wyatt sat on the edge of the couch and leaned over her body to remove the book from her chest. _She smells so clean – like fresh flowers._ After he removed the book and quietly placed it on the coffee table, he turned to her legs. He intended to cover them with the blanket but couldn't resist his desire and felt his fingertips lightly ghost over her calves and trace her leg up to her mid-thigh. _Her legs are so soft. She feels amazing._ Wyatt thought. Wyatt felt Lucy stir and immediately stilled. Lucy eyelids fluttered opened and she grabbed his left hand "I'm glad you are home. I've missed you." Lucy whispered still halfway asleep. Lucy's fingers were now interlaced with his hand. She lifted his hand to her lips and kissed his wedding ring. _What is going on?_ Wyatt looked and noticed that his ring wasn't the same band that he had when he married Jessica. He looked at Lucy's hand, she had a matching ring. _No way. This cannot be real but it feels far too natural for it to just be a dream._

As if sensing something was wrong, Lucy sat up and slowly leaned closer to Wyatt. _My gosh, she smells fantastic. If this is a dream, it can't be wrong just to see what it would be like to be with her_. Lucy asked, "Sweetheart, are you ok?" _She just called me sweetheart – her nickname for me ever since…_ Wyatt responded, "Yes, Babydoll. I'm just glad to be home." _I just want to see what it would be like_ Wyatt reasoned. Lucy smiled. "I am too" and leaned in and placed a sweet soft kiss on Wyatt's lips. Wyatt's hesitated to respond at first but his heart and his body quickly took over his mind and he leaned into Lucy and began kissing her back. As their kiss deepened, one of Wyatt's hands roved up and down Lucy's back while the other was tangled in her hair. As he pulled her tighter, Wyatt heard Lucy softly moan into his kiss and he lost what little control he had over his dreamself and pushed Lucy back down into the couch. He broke their kiss as he leaned her down and her eyes looked up at him with desire. Wyatt was thrilled to see he could illicit such a reaction from her. She was breathing hard and her face was flush. Lucy raised her hand to his cheek and said, "I knew I married you for a good reason, Master Sergeant." Wyatt thought to himself _Is this what I want from Lucy?_ At that moment, Wyatt didn't care about what the dream meant and immediately returned his lips to her lips and then began tracing her body with his kisses. Her lips, her cheekbones, her ears, her neck, and with each kissed he quietly whisper her name. His hands exploring his wife. He couldn't get enough of Lucy. Wyatt hadn't felt this way in years…he never wanted this to end. He was so lost in Lucy he didn't hear the door to their house open. As Wyatt began to want more from Lucy, he heard another woman gasped. Lucy and Wyatt immediately broke apart and jumped out of each other's arms. Wyatt looked and saw the origin of the gasp. Jessica. "What are you doing with her?" Jessica cried out. "I thought you loved me - that you would always love me!" Wyatt was stunned and overwhelmed. He turned and looked at Lucy who now seem sad and said, "Go ahead, Wyatt. If she is what will make you happy. I won't stop you." Wyatt looked back and forth between the two women. He was conflicted. He loved Jessica but there was a gaping hole in his heart as Lucy began to move away from him. Wyatt immediately felt her absence. He didn't know what to do….

Just then the door to his cell swung open and jarred Wyatt from his nightmare. Agent Christopher. Wyatt slowed his breathing which was heightened from his dreams for a variety of reasons and immediately felt the blush spreading up from his neck. _I'm glad this place is poorly lit and that Christopher can't read minds_ Wyatt thought. _I've got to stay focused_ Wyatt told himself and pushed his dreams out of his mind for now. Agent Christopher blurted out "I've been pulled off the assignment. The NSA has taken over. They waited to tell me until after they sent Lucy and Rufus to the 1920s." Wyatt stared down at the table as Agent Christopher told him the news. His guilt growing with every word. "I'm sorry. I never meant for you to get pulled off your detail." Christopher stared at him. "Yea. Well it sucked." As Wyatt battled with his own guilt for getting Agent Christopher fired, another realization dawned on him. What would happen to Lucy and Rufus? _This doesn't make any sense._ _What was really going on?_ Wyatt grew apprehensive "Changing horses mid-stream, that's seems risky." Wyatt finally looked up at Christopher. "This Neville guy shows up with how many people?" "A dozen maybe more." Christopher responded. _Something is definitely wrong_ Wyatt thought. "On a top-secret project like this? No way they get clearance in time this late at night." Immediately Wyatt knew what had happened. Wyatt related his realization by telling Christopher how while he was with Delta Force in Afghanistan – they took over the town peacefully. Wyatt's heart was racing as he explained what he believed was going on to Christopher. "Take overs don't have to be hostile….this wasn't because of my joy ride. They've been planning this for weeks. This is a coup." _Who could have organized this? Why would someone want Christopher out? We are missing something._ Agent Christopher's face indicated she had her own suspicions but wasn't willingly to share them yet. She silently nodded and walked out of the room. Wyatt now more than ever regretted his decision to take his unsanctioned trip. Lucy and Rufus needed him and his selfish decision had now put them in even more danger. He wondered who had been assigned to go with them. _Probably Bumgardner. At least he knows what he is doing. He'll keep them safe. It should be me with them_ Wyatt thought as he pounded his fist into the table. _Instead, I'm stuck in here because I was a selfish jerk._

Wyatt finally thought back to his dreams and figuring out what they meant. The dream about Jessica was more or less the same as all his other dreams about Jessica. _I'm never going to find out who killed her. I'll never be able to get justice or save her from her fate. I'm going to have to accept that now. I've done everything I could to try to change it and nothing has worked._ Wyatt thought back to the second dream. _I'd be devastated if Lucy and I weren't friends. I need Lucy. I'd miss Lucy._ Wyatt hesitated before reliving his final dream. It confused him. _Why did I dream I was married to Lucy? Why did it feel so natural? Why did I enjoy being her that much? I couldn't keep my hands off her._ Wyatt shook his head remembering how much he enjoyed being that close, that physical, that intimate with Lucy. Wyatt remembered what it felt like to have Lucy wrapped around him _-_ what it was like to breathe Lucy in – to hold her and kiss her. _It felt perfect_ Wyatt the dreamed ended with an awful twist where Jessica had walked in on him and Lucy. Accused him of not loving her anymore and then Lucy sadly letting Wyatt go. Wyatt buried his head in his hands. He didn't want to think about what third dream meant. Yet Wyatt knew deep down inside he already knew what his subconscious was trying to tell him.

When Agent Christopher got back, she had brought surveillance photos with her this time. Christopher showed Wyatt pictures of an older man getting out of a limo. She explained that this was the man Mason had been secretly meeting with and the same man that had been threatening Rufus. Wyatt couldn't believe what he was hearing. The man was Rittenhouse. Rittenhouse was controlling Mason. Rittenhouse was threatening Rufus. This had to mean… "That means Rittenhouse is in control of Mason industries. In control of the Lifeboat…in control of Lucy and Rufus." Wyatt couldn't believe it. _I'm not there. Christopher's not there. Lucy and Rufus are caught in the middle of a Rittenhouse coup. I'm not there to protect her._ Agent Christopher wasn't done. "There's more, Wyatt." Wyatt thought to himself, _How could this get any worse._ "This man…the man you see here…he his Lucy's biological father." Wyatt shook his head. "What." _This can't be happening. Lucy's father is Rittenhouse._ Wyatt immediately asked, _"_ Does she know _?"_ "She just found out." Christopher answered. _How is she? Who is protecting her from him? I can't do anything to help her from in here!_ Wyatt leaned back in his chair – trying to process all this news and accept that because of his decisions he was not in a position to help anyone – to help Lucy.

Christopher looked Wyatt directly in the eyes. "Wyatt these guys are getting more and more brazen. We have to do something." Wyatt started shaking his head. _I know that. I know that. But I can't._ "Well there's nothing I can do about it. I'm in here." Christopher looked at him. He could see the frustration in her eyes. She slid a piece of paper across to him. "This the confession that want me to get you to sign. You could sign it. Disappear down some black hole for a couple of years or you could fight this." Wyatt started shaking his head. There was no use. "Just think about what Lucy and Rufus will be coming back to before you make your decision." _I know what they are but I can't change that – I've missed up everything_ Wyatt thought. "Think about what? How I let them down? How I let Jessica down." Christopher tried to interrupt and provide some type of empathy "I know you feel... Wyatt immediately cut her off. "You don't know. Because either Flynn was lying to me about who killed her or fate wanted her dead any way. Wrap your head around that for a minute. That the universe. Or God. Wanted the one person that I love the most in this world dead." Christopher finally cut through Wyatt's speech as the tears slowly rolled down his face. "Maybe the universe is saying there is something else you have to do. Maybe you aren't meant to be here. Maybe you are meant to be helping your friends." _Maybe she is right but even if she is I've screwed up. I'm stuck in here_ Wyatt thought. "How do I do that now then?"

Agent Christopher stood, collected her files, and slyly slide a paper clip to Wyatt. "I don't know. I will let them know you won't be signing the confession." As she walked out of the door, Wyatt picked up the paper clip. Wyatt knew what he had to do. He unfolded the paperclip and began picking at his handcuffs. He had to be quick. He had to get them off and find a way out of his cell. It didn't take long. Wyatt's handcuffs opened and he quickly moved into the shadows. He found the fuse box. He pulled the wires and jammed his paper clip into the box - causing the electricity to short out. Almost immediately a guard came rushing in, Wyatt fought him off with easily. His Delta Force training enabled him to escape the cell and the black site with relative ease. Once he was out, Wyatt knew he had to hide out until he heard from Agent Christopher. He didn't want too wait long. Agent Christopher found him. "Glad you made the right choice. Take this burner phone. I'll call you when I know something. I'm sure you'll want to see them. Stay safe." And just like that, as quickly as she appeared she disappeared.

As he waited to be contacted, Wyatt again was alone with his thoughts. _I hope Lucy and Rufus are ok. I hope nothing has happened on their mission. I hope Flynn didn't say something to Lucy again to make her doubt herself. I hope that they forgive me for being so selfish. I hope Lucy is ok – that she doesn't think she is just like her dad. I hope Lucy… What do I hope with Lucy? That she understands I wanted to save my wife? That she still looks at me the same way she used too? That she still prefers me? Prefers me – what does that even mean? The dream – is that what I hope for with Lucy?_ Wyatt didn't' have much time to think about his questions because his burner rang. Christopher said they've landed and gave him the location for the meeting.

When Wyatt arrived at the abandoned warehouse, he wondered how many secret meetings he had missed between the three of them. He had only been in lock up for 48 hours but it seemed like a lifetime. He felt like he had to make up for letting them down. Wyatt opened the door and headed down stairs. He was nervous about what type of reception he would receive. When he opened the door to the basement, he heard Lucy, Rufus, and Agent Christopher's hushed talking. It immediately stopped when the door creaked. _Great, no stalling it now._ Wyatt took a deep breath in and walked down the stairs.

Almost immediately, Lucy rushed to him and threw herself into his arms. Wyatt held her tight. Breathe in her shampoo. She smelt like spring – like fresh flowers - like his dream. He ran his fingers through her hair and took in a deep breath of Lucy. _She's ok. She's ok._ Like they were two halves of the same soul, Lucy whispered into his neck,"You're okay." Wyatt didn't want to let go of her. He wanted to hold her close to make sure she didn't disappear but when Rufus started telling him how glad he was to see him Lucy relinquished her hold over Wyatt and stepped away from him. Wyatt looked Rufus in the eye, "I didn't have a choice, man." Christopher smiled at Wyatt, "I knew you make it out of there." Wyatt began casing the room. "Don't worry, I swept for bugs. Its clean for now." Christopher reassured Wyatt. Finally, Wyatt turned to her and looked Lucy in the eyes. He could feel her uncertainty and self-doubt rolling over him like waves on the ocean. She looked tired and sad. "Lucy, I heard about your father. I'm so sorry. But you know that jerk has nothing to do with you, right." Lucy just shook her head and nodded. _Something's wrong – she seems so defeated. I've missed something. I need to find out what happened on this last mission._

As Agent Christopher broke the news that Rittenhouse was now in control of the Lifeboat and Mason industries, Lucy and Rufus both lost control. Rufus was scared for Jiya. Lucy just became frantic. Wyatt remembered what she had told him – she was terrified of being in situations she couldn't' control. Wyatt needed to find a way to calm them both down. "It's going to be ok." "How can you be so calm?" Lucy asked, her brown eyes piercing into Wyatt's soul. Wyatt looked back into her eyes, "Because I've been through a lot in the last couple of days. And I've fought it for a long time. And you can call it fate. Or God. Or the Force. I am meant to do something. I am meant to protect the both of you. I see that now. And, I will." Lucy's eyes never left Wyatt's. "You know you sound like a crazy person, right?" She said. Wyatt smiled, rolled his eyes, and looked back at her. "I sound like you." Lucy smiled, "Exactly."

As they headed their separate ways, Wyatt thought about what he had told Lucy and Rufus. He would protect them. He believed it was his purpose. But deep down, Wyatt knew it was more than that – Lucy was his purpose and he would do whatever necessary to protect her. The wall Wyatt had reconstructed around his heart after Lucy had slowly torn down the first wall was now completely shattered. Throughout their missions, Lucy had worked away at the wall around his heart. All the way back to the beginning with her wire bra, Wyatt could remember the moments where Lucy had chipped away at his heart's wall. It was the kissed they shared that originally alerted Wyatt to the walls crumbling around his heart. He immediately worked to try to rebuild them but then Lucy was kidnapped and Wyatt nearly lost his mind. Yet, he rebuilt the wall around his heart when he found out Jessica's killer. Lucy wasn't the answer to his broke heart, saving Jessica was. So, Wyatt tried to hard stamp out his growing feelings for Lucy. On their trip to the West, Wyatt was so consumed with Jessica and his attempts to remove himself emotionally from Lucy that he put her in the situation where she had to kill Jesse James. Yet, no matter how hard he fought, Lucy still had a hold over him. He had hurt her when he had decided to steal the Lifeboat and save Jessica. But she cared enough about him to let him go and try which he knew was against everything she believed in. Even now, standing before him, Lucy held nothing against him. She missed him and she was glad he was back. Wyatt thought to himself as they exited the building _I don't deserve her but I'm glad she wants me back. I won't let her down again._


End file.
